I do not like feeling unsettled, but I also get antsy when things begin settling down. I feel caught in this tension of what has been, what is, and what could be. I am perpetually reconciling myself to what has been in my life (good and bad). While also trying to solve my future. I [...]
Creation. All of creation groans to be put right (Romans 8.22). I feel that groaning within myself. I long to be put right. I desire healthy relationships. I desire vulnerability and wholeness. Yet, I cannot seem to nail it down. I spend a lot of time stuck in the fear of failure - the fear [...]
"Mr. Hillin, why are you eating 'Cam Newton' food?" One of my 5th-grade students asked me this morning. I looked at her befuddled and asked, "What do you mean?" She pointed at my yogurt and asked the same question, "Why are you eating 'Cam Newton' food?" I understand now. She has seen the commercials of [...]
"Pre-existing condition" What does that make you feel? Not great - if I had to guess. Unless you happen to own and operate an insurance business and believe this new Healthcare plan will pass. I know almost nothing about politics. I remember tuning out in school when being taught government. I was genuinely disinterested. I [...]
I need a "Tribal Allegiance." I need to know where I come from and how it defines me. Much help is required as I try to define, "me." This is why the old Marine commercials were so powerful on me as a kid, "The few, the proud, the Marines." I wanted to be part of a [...]
I used to spend a lot of time concerned with the past. I would mull around in my headspace for hours about the fool I was, the mistakes I made, the ignorance with which I conducted myself, and the arrogance I maintained. I would beat myself up about it. I would lose precious moments in the Now paying my [...]
Coming home from grabbing an early meal at Chic-fil-a, my wife is on the phone with her mom explaining her new summer schedule for work. I am stopping and going with traffic trying to get back to the interstate to get home in time to get to basketball practice. I check my rear view mirror, and I see a car going full speed coming up on us while we are at a dead stop.
The finality of a "calling" scares the rational side of my brain. It makes me feel claustrophobic or something. I get this antsy feeling in my skin. This anxious weight of the rest of my life begins to plague me. What is it about the future that is so scary...
A prohibition on coffee... Sounds AWFUL. Did you know that there was once a push in England in 1674 to outlaw coffee? There is no substance in the world outside of coffee that I would care if it were banned. For coffee, I would jump into action. I would look like Batman showing up just [...]
I feel bombarded with you. I open Facebook and all I see is your stuff. I see your happy days... I exclusively see your happy days. I am only able to see all the ways you are enjoying life, or I see the way you want all of your Facebook Friends to see your life. [...]